28.2.08

Bizarre Suicide



At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Sciences, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story...


On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide. (He left a note indicating his despondency.) As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers, and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this...


Ordinarily a person who starts into motion the events with a suicide intent ultimately commits suicide even though the mechanism might be not what he intended. That he was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not change his mode of death from suicide to homicide, but the fact that his suicide intent would not have been achieved under any circumstance caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands...


Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking the decedent.


When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent appeared then to be accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded...


But further investigation turned up a witness that their son was seen loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident. That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her son's financial support, and her son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus...


Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.


The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.




Source: http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/suicide.htm

20.2.08

LinkedIn


I just registered on LinkedIn yesterday.

I have 3 connections already.

Here is my public profile

19.2.08

The Shit List

Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be
able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a
shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the
situation better to your friends and family...



  • Ghost Shit


    You know you've shit. There's shit on the
    toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.



  • Teflon Coated Shit


    Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you
    don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to
    look in the bowl to be sure you did it!




  • Gooey Shit


    This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe
    your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up
    putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This
    shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.



  • Second Thought Shit


    You're all done wiping your ass and you're
    about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.




  • Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit


    This kind is the kind of shit that killed
    Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple
    from straining so hard.



  • Bali Belly Shit


    You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.



  • Right Now Shit



    You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet.
    Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.



  • King Kong or Commode Choker Shit


    This shit is so big that you know it won't go
    down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat
    hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone
    else's house.



  • Wet Cheeks Shit


    This shit hits the water sideways and makes a
    BIG splash that gets your ass wet.




  • Wish Shit


    You sit there all cramped up and fart a few
    times, but no shit!



  • Cement Block or Oh God Shit


    You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before
    you shit.




  • Snake Shit


    This shit is fairly soft and about as big
    around as your thumb and at least three feet long.



  • Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater
    Shit
    )


    Even after the third flush, it's still
    floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually
    happens at someone else's house.




  • Mexican Food Shit (also called
    Screamers
    )


    You'll know it's alright to eat again when
    your asshole stops burning.



  • Beer Drunk Shit


    This happens the day after the night before.
    Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD.
    Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This
    kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.




  • The Frightened Turtle


  • The kind of shit that just pokes its head out
    then quickly goes back in



  • The Bungee Shit


  • The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass
    before it falls into the water.



  • The Ring of Fire Shit



  • The kind of shit where you eat really spicy
    food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.



  • The Crippler


  • The kind of shit where you have to sit on the
    toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.



  • The Big Bobber


  • The kind of shit that no matter how many times
    you flush it always floats back to the surface.




  • The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang


  • The kind of shit that hits you when you're
    trapped in your car in a traffic jam.



  • The Incredible Hulk Shit


  • The king of shit that sits in the toilet
    overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.




  • The Jack the Ripper Shit


  • The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of
    your ass as it pushes its way out.



  • The Party Pooper


  • The giant shit you take at a party. And when
    you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to
    rise.



  • The Toxic Gas Shit



  • The kind of shit that makes you pass out and
    fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some
    strange South American town.



  • Dirty Bowl Shit


  • The kind of shit that comes out in a million
    pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket
    propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.



  • The Windy City Shit


  • When you sit down, and fart for so long and
    hard that you no longer need to take a shit.




  • Oh Shit! Shit


  • You shit so much and wipe your ass so
    furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!



  • The Never Ending Shit


  • It's the shit that keeps running out of your
    ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach
    gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after
    eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.




  • Ouch That Hurt Shit


  • The type of shit that leaves you feeling like
    you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually
    lasts hours.



Quoted from: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_02.htm

15.2.08

Blinking Mazdas (video)


Imagine driving slowly close by the night club. Your car is a Mazda 323F BG. As you slowly pass by the chicks standing before the club, one of them glances you. You blink one eye...


12.2.08

Сесии, изпити...

Тече изпит. От залата излиза измъчен студент. Всичко, чакащи, веднага го питата"
- Как мина?
- Като в църква?
- Как така?
- Той задава въпрос, аз се кръстя. Аз отговарям, той се кръсти.

6.2.08

I'm a fan of... (video)


There are two players I am a fan of. These are


  • Ronaldinho
  • Cristiano Ronaldo


Here's a video on why I'm a fan of Ronaldinho. The video is called "A Touch of Gold" and ... just watch it!


Ball Tricks (video)


I recently posted a video in a post titled "No words". Here's some more:


5.2.08

Детски градини

Пресцентърът на МВР съобщи, че са заловени хакерите, причинили срива на информационната система за обслужване на детските градини. Това са лицата И.П. на 2,5 години и Б.Б. на 3 години от град С., които не са искали да ходят на детска градина.

Mazda Club Sofia Meeting (03.02.2008) (video)




4.2.08

BMW M3 vs. Mazda 323 BF (video)

at the Mazda Club Sofia Meeting (03.02.2008)